2/13/2023 0 Comments JumpStart Oatmeal Monday (2/6/23)Big Idea: Control freaks and the role of suffering.
An Open Letter to Control Freaks Everywhere: It’s human nature to judge, categorize, and compare. It’s also human nature to be feel unhappy. Could there be a connection? This last weekend, I went to the beginner yoga class that my wife teaches every Saturday morning. (Spoiler Alert: she kicked my *$$) As I lay on my mat during her intention-setting session at the beginning, I noticed that instead of listening with an open heart, I was listening for what I disagreed with, for what I would have done differently. My action was so wrong on so many levels. Pema Chodron also says, “You should never have expectations for other people. Just be kind to them.” How many times a day are you disappointed because something or someone didn’t meet your expectations? Where did those expectations come from? A bias? A judgement? A comparison to something or someone else? This week, try this: The next time a student’s behavior disappoints you, ask yourself, “What pre-conceived expectation did I have for this student? Where did it come from? Why do I even have one?” Quote: "Suffering usually relates to wanting things to be different from the way they are." ~Pema Chodron Educator Resource: EVERFI - Social & Emotional Curriculum - EVERFI uses community partners to fund their work, so it’s always free. As a tech coach, I used to recommend these resources to everyone. It had been a minute since I’d explored their offerings, and I see they have a whole section of SEL courses for ALL grade levels. Dad Joke: 6:30 is the best time on a clock. Hands down. February is here! That’s snow day month. If this was forwarded to you, and you’d like your own copy, sign up here. ~Matt
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Big Idea: If you can't love yourself, you can't love others.
Confession time. I have a tattoo on my back of the kanji symbol for tranquility. To me, inner peace is a quintessential necessity for personal contentment or happiness. If individuals strive for personal tranquility, I would bet the world would be a lot more peaceful. I’ve read that the same is true for love: If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love others. What about self awareness? I would bet that the more self aware you are, the more empathetic you can be. I think it would be hard to recognize and understand emotions in others if you haven’t first recognized and understood them in yourself. People talk about how this inner work of becoming more self-aware is selfish - we don’t have time for that because certainly there are more important things in our lives. But is this true? As educators in a helping profession, I would argue that self-work is a prerequisite. This week, try this: The next time you feel disgust or hate or fear in regard to another person, take a moment (even if it’s hours later) and do an inner dive as to why you felt that way. I wonder if it’s because you don’t like the same/similar quality about yourself? Quote: "If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else." ~Marvin Gaye Educator Resource: ParentABLE - FREE for SY23-24! - Is your 8 - 12 curriculum looking for evidence-based parenting/childcare content? I would highly recommend ParentABLE’s 10-day unit that fits nicely into other SEL, families and childcare, early childhood, etc. curriculum. If you have started a pipeline for future teachers in your high school, this should be an essential unit. I had a conversation with the founder and CEO, Katharine Bensinger and published it on our podcast. In it, she talks about their P.A.R.E.N.T. philosophy and how their perspective shifted during COVID. Dad Joke: I don't always whoop. But when I do, there it is. May this last week of January be the most peaceful one. If this was forwarded to you, and you’d like your own copy, sign up here. ~Matt Big Idea: We need to be mindful of the two definitions of 'surrender'.
I’ll be you’ve seen t-shirts that exhort you to ‘never surrender!’ And then there are quotes like the one above implying that your best life will be when you surrender. What gives? Surrender can mean not giving up or giving in despite what others want you to do. This is admirable. It’s also admirable when you can let go of control, of the need for answers, of the need to understand and just… be. This is also surrender. I was teaching aspiring yoga teachers this last weekend about breathwork and we talked about how the inhale enables more space and the exhale intensifies the feeling of surrender. This week, try this: When you are feeling closed in or pressured, try sitting up straight and taking in a long, slow breath. Focus on the space that is created within you. When you are feeling overwhelmed and scattered, try taking in a big breath and then slowly let it out, focusing on letting go - of surrender to what is right now. Quote: "Surrender is the inner transition from resistance to acceptance, from no to yes." ~Eckhart Tolle Educator Resource: Communities of Practice - FREE! - Are you looking to transform your school or district? Joining a conversation that is starting soon around Illinois can help jumpstart the process of transformation. There are several to choose from, including whole-school trauma programming, classroom strategies, staff self-care, whole school prevention planning, community context, and whole-school safety planning. Applications due January 30. Brochure Dad Joke: A wizard asked me to proof one of his scrolls last week. Actually, it was more of a spell check. It takes a certain amount of vulnerability to surrender. I hope that you can find space to practice it just a little bit this week. Have a great one! ~Matt It’s also Appreciate a Dragon Day and the start of No Name-Calling Week. It’s gonna be a great week! I think my goal this week will be not to eat an entire sleeve of Fig Newtons in one sitting. #babysteps
Big Idea: It's OK to not feel confident 100% of the time. You’ve probably noticed this at school: People who talk about themselves a lot are really the most insecure, while the people who go about their business are generally quiet about their personal lives. Lack of confidence shows an abundance of fear. Fear of ridicule, fear or not showing up, fear of failure. If we want to fight a fear (or one of the ways it shows up, like low self-confidence), we have to strive toward its opposite. Some say the opposite of fear is love. Others say it’s knowledge and understanding. I say the opposite of fear is safety because you can’t feel love and you can’t learn to understand until you feel safe. If you’re going to be confident, you have to feel safe in your environment, safe with your community, and safe in your own self. What to work on first? That’s your call - just make the decision with confidence and stick to it. This week, try this: The next time your confidence lags this week, notice your body. What is your posture like? How has your breathing changed? What are you feeling in your gut? Try changing any of those symptoms, and your outlook will change as a result. Quote: "Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud." (Google can't agree on the original author) Educator Resource: 9 Self-Confidence Building Activities for Students - Some good ideas that can easily be adapted to any age (well, some of them require writing and reading). I also love that the last activity is yoga and this isn’t even a yoga website! Dad Joke: Originally, I wasn't going to get a brain transplant. Then I changed my mind. There’s a 100% chance that MLK had times of low self-confidence. We all do. If you feel unsure about your role at school, someone had to believe in you or you wouldn’t have a job. #justsayin If this was forwarded to you, and you’d like your own copy, sign up here. 1/20/2023 0 Comments JumpStart Word Nerd Day! (1/9/23)Also, No Pant Subway Ride Day, 4th Graders Day, and Cassoulet Day. Oh, and Apricots Day, which I'm a fan of, as long as they are not those Mediterranean kind. Since when did those tasteless things become mainstream? Also, for you word nerds, a cassoulet is a French Stew with beans and meat, and the 'quintessential winter entrée'. Yes, please!
Big Idea: Remain flexible so that you do not break. There’s just so. much. this week! Maybe I did a good job of handling all the inputs before Christmas. Maybe I am still in vacation mode. All I know is that this last week, it seems like every project I’ve ever touched needs attention. The object now is to avoid overwhelm. In working toward that goal, I’m thinking about how bending on a couple of choice projects and deadlines won’t be the end of the world. They’ll still get done, just not on my original timeline. And that’s OK. I think it’s better to be flexible on some things - the things where I can take a step back and determine that what’s causing me stress is a self-imposed deadline or a boundary that no one will really notice if I shift it a bit. This week, try this: Are your New Year’s resolutions starting to chafe? Maybe you need to look at making them less strict and more flexible. For example, instead of saying I’m going to run 3 miles on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, maybe say that you’re going to do something active 3 times per week. Quote: "The reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm." (Confucius) Educator Resource: 3 Transitions for Elementary Kiddos - Last week, someone emailed asking for short (<4 minute) yoga videos to use as transitions for elementary students. I couldn’t find any either. Even if they do exist somewhere, you’ll use up precious seconds finding and queueing up the video when you could just be leading the yoga/breathwork transition yourself. WHAT? MYSELF? Yep! Start with this script and modify it as you get more comfortable. There’s one for energizing between activities, one for preparing to travel somewhere, and one for when they’re back in the classroom. Dad Joke: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy. Have an excellent rest of your day and week. Let me know if there is a resource you’d like to see (Yes, I realize they’ve been heavy on the elementary side recently. I’ll work on that!). If this was forwarded to you, and you’d like your own copy, sign up here. Big Idea: The idea of approaching life with curiosity rather than with fear or judgement. The idea of questioning rather than accepting.
In your self-care practice, which could include working out, what if you wondered how your body responds to movement - and noticed that - rather than working to achieve a goal (usually a number)? In your interactions in difficult or uncomfortable situations, what if you asked a question first rather than starting with a statement? In preparing for your least favorite parts of the holidays, what if you asked if there could be a change? This week, try this: The next time you come across something on social media or the news that you don’t agree with (in other words, you went straight to judgement), stop and wonder why. Why is this a truth for some people and not for me? Quote: "Let your curiosity be greater than your fear." (Pema Chodron) Educator Resource: Christmas Yoga Story for Littles - Last week, I asked to come back to do yoga with a kindergarten class in Marissa, IL. I thought it might be fun to have the kids do yoga poses throughout a story. So I wrote a version of ‘The Littlest Christmas Tree’ where the kids had to do certain poses each time they were mentioned in the story. It’s a story about a TREE, a MOUSE, an EAGLE (you see where this is going. I had to make up some poses just to make them flow together, but that’s OK!). On the last page, there’s a description of how to do each of the poses, so even if you’ve never done yoga before, check it out. Dad Joke: Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting in your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye, it's always an eyelash. Eyeronic. Big Idea: We need to be mindful of our expectations.
When I was a kid, I’d write out the list of everyone I had to shop for: parents, sister, aunts, uncles, grandparents… all of them. Then I’d think up and shop for a unique gift for each one that fit within my budget. Now, I get a giftster from my kids, and the adults in my life all want gift cards. Where’s the fun in that? I guess that’s one way not to be disappointed when the gifts are opened. Disappointment, anger, fear, and worry all have their roots in our expectations. If people don’t behave the way we expect them to, we are disappointed or even angry. If we are afraid that something might not go as expected, we worry. Have our expectations around gifting become too high? (or maybe it’s too low…?) This week, try this: Try giving up expectations for something small this week, like your lunch. If you have no expectations on how good it will be, it will automatically be excellent! You may have to try this every day this week - it’s harder than it sounds. Quote: Expectation is the root of all heartache." (William Shakespeare) Educator Resource: DitchSummit and TeachIllinois: TeachIllinois.org is proud to announce YEAR 5 of collaboration with Matt Miller’s #DitchSummit. Go to his site to watch excellent PD and network with the growing community, and then go to TeachIllinois to get those hours made ‘real’ for IL educators. #winwin #free Dad Joke: I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone. If this was forwarded to you, and you’d like your own copy, sign up here. Big Idea: Less is More this Holiday Season!
We’re coming off of a weekend where our inboxes were crammed with major discounts. Everyone with a job in marketing went above and beyond this year. Truly. I was sucked into several offers and ALMOST hit that ‘buy now!’ button. Until I remembered: My wife and I recently sold our 4-bedroom home with two 2-car garages on 2 acres. The sale wasn’t as hard as the downsizing. What had we been doing those 19 years we lived there (besides raising kids)? Accumulating STUFF! We ended up giving away about 70% of our things and moving into a 1,200 square-foot apartment where we are very happy. This week, try this: As you’re thinking about Secret Santas at school, family gift giving/drawings, consider collecting cash and donating it to a LOCAL group who does things for the kids in your community. Here, our churches, the library, the food pantry, and the local high school all have great programs. Because who really needs another holiday mug with chocolate inside? Quote: "The best gifts come from the heart, not the store." (Sarah Dessen) Resource: Student Self-Talk: Part of growth mindset is understanding that there is always more to learn, and that we need to emphasize the process over the person. I work with a little 1st grader in a little school district who was reading at the 4th grade level in Kindergarten. I’m worried that she when she doesn’t get her way or when she comes up against something even a little challenging, she will have a breakdown and quit learning UNLESS we start emphasizing a growth mindset. Instead of telling her, “you’re so smart!” we should be saying something like, “you are so hard-working!” Dad Joke: What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married? Feyonce. Have most excellent week, everyone! Matt Weld, ROE 40 SEL Coach Big Idea: Just because Thanksgiving is over doesn't mean GRATITUDE falls off the list.
Let’s think about silver linings this week using the technique of ‘yes…and’.
Quote: "Gratitude is the attitude that keeps on giving." ~Me Resource: Inclusive Language One-Pager. Language is key to, well, just about everything. Things don’t exist until we have a word for them. I heard a podcast one time where a group of people don’t have a word for blue, so they don’t see that color. Language also changes. Much of what what was common vernacular when I was growing up is now outdated and alienating to whole groups of people. This sheet shows some ways to change up how you phrase things. Dad Joke: It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers. Have an excellent week! Matt Weld, ROE #40 SEL Coach Big Idea: It's Thanksgiving, the time when generations get together and differences jump out. Here are some things to think about before you go into those conversations.
This week, try this: If someone says something offensive like, “So, I hear you’re still teaching. Why don’t you find job that makes real money?” try this: take a breath and pause, and do NOT get defensive. Once blood is spilled, the piranhas feast. Then you can respond with humor: “Oh, I have faith that someday one of my students will give me a cut of their earnings once they’re famous!” Or maybe respond with honesty: “It’s not about the money for me. I’m fulfilled by how I can make a difference in kids’ lives. High fives and hugs mean more to me than some big house I’d just have to clean.” You can then also redirect the conversation: “In what other career could I get to join 12-year olds in playing with scalpels? Could you teach me how to make this gravy? Mine is always lumpy…” Quote: "Guilt and defensiveness are bricks in a wall against which we all flounder; they serve none of our futures." (Audre Lorde) Educator Resource: Ethical and Moral Dilemmas Discussion Starters. One of the core competencies of Social Emotional Learning is Reinforcing Decision Making. Just having open conversations with kids about emotions and daily interactions is a great way to teach and model how to be a good human. These can be used to debate in social studies, as writing prompts in ELA, or as discussion starters when you have some time at the end of class, or as a regular thing, like “Moral Mondays” (yes, I just made that up!). Dad Joke: What do Thanksgiving turkeys become after they die? Poultrygeists. Have a great week! ~Matt Weld, ROE #40 SEL Coach |
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